Drowing in sorrow

Well i just went for a ride on my NEW bike. Its awesome *sighs contentidly* i have everything i need in life. Awesome friends, a fun job, a boy friend who actually loves me :P and my bike. Life is awesome. *looks worried* now im just waitng for the other shoe to drop, if u know my meaning. From what i know, whenever something is going good in my life something else comes and fucks it all to hell. The story of my life i guess, constantly watching my life fall apart and then slowly picking up the pieces and putting it back together only to watch it fall apart again. Wow i sound heaps depressed. i so dont want to go there. Once in a life time is enough to be depressed out of your mind. And no, for those of you who actually care, i havent been listening to too much "Emo" music again. I am just... i dont know. Maybe its cos i downed a while thing of Cruiser in about 20 minutes. U know the ones i mean, not the pissy little ones. The big ones like the ones i took to jazzys party and to Rhyans sleepover. In fact the one i drank was a left over from Jazzys sleepover/party thing. Theyre awesome, they only cost like $5 each. *sigh* i could really go for another one right now, drowning my sorrows in the bottem of an empty glass of booze. Im really beginning to wonder whats got me in this mood. Is it the booze? Is it just me? or is it something that i havent done or been able to do? or the fact that i just really pissed my mum off? No wait i do that all the time, so its not that.

Im talking to my friend on the net about Obsessive compulsive tendancies. Hers are the fact that she cant stand anything being neat (the opposite of typical OCD) and that she counts her steps. Where as i have issues about where my books are on my book shelves and the number of the volume on the Tv. It has to either be multiples of five (5,10,15,20) or doubled numbers (11,22,33). i have no idea why. I thinks its a control thing. Started a few years ago when i felt like i had bugger all controll over anything in my life. Any way, thats enough about the Secret Life of Shaddowdove for a while. i'll post again later when i dont feel like pouring all my secrets out over the net.

Shaddowdove